Lonely Hearts Club
by Scarlett O'Awesome
Summary: Thalia sings in the shower, and Lord Apollo shows up to compliment her. He sees Nico waiting for her to come out, and boy, does he get the wrong idea!
1. Chapter 1

_"January through December_

_Do you want to be a member?_

_Lonely hearts club_

_Do you want to be with somebody like me?_

_Oh!"_

Nico pressed his ear up against the door harder. What on earth? He had come to ask Thalia to shock Percy for being himself, not to hear her sing in the shower! He waited for the noise of water to shut off, his ear still against the door so he could hear it and not get smited by Lady Artemis if Thalia found him creeping in her room.

"Did you call me?" Who was that? He couldn't quite place the voice.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! APOLLO DAMN YOU! I'M IN THE SHOWER!"

" You called me."

"HOW?"

"You sang."

"Go annoy Phoebe or something. She's not naked and desperately clinging to a towel."

"I don't see why you bother. I can see through it if I want."

"OUT!"

Apollo came stumbling out, and,seeing Nico, winked.

"Ah, you're waiting for the fair maiden? Drawn by her lovely voice?"

"Actually, Lord Apollo, no, I was going to ask for help on-"

"It's alright. Your secret's safe with me."

Damned sewn into Hades' gym shorts, this was a problem. No secret is safe with Apollo.

Nico heard the shower turn off.

"No offence, Lord Apollo, but I gotta go..."

He burst into the cabin, and heard Apollo sing quite loudly:

"_Got a secret,_

_Can you keep it?_

_Swear this one you'll save?"_

Shit.

"Thaliaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Help! We have a problem!"

Thalia burst out, still clinging to the towel with dripping hair and clutching her bow and holding her bracelet. Upon seeing Nico, she relaxed. She was used to him overreacting.

"WHAT?"

"Lord Apollo is going to band together with Lady Aphrodite to try and get us together!"

"How did he get this notion?" Her voice was dangerous.

"I was waiting outside for you because I needed a favor and Lord Apollo came out and totally went crazy on his explaination on why I was here!"

"Oh lord."

Apollo and Aphrodite were conversing.

"My lady! I have a relationship suggestion! All you need to do is make the girl like the guy back!"

"Who is it?"

"Nico and Thalia."

"Perfect. We'll call it Thalico." She grinned, and if anyone had seen it, they would have described it as pure evil.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, this was origanally a one-shot but all the people who liked it seemed to have big, pleading eyes in my imagination, so I'll continue.**

**Also, I've realised how much I've grown as a writer, looking at some old stories. I guess I'll always be growing as a writer.**

**Enjoy!**

Aphrodite headed into the secret room of couple making.

"Aha! Here's the love potion, here's the pot, here's the tiny piece of Nico feelings, and here;s the tiny piece of Thalia feelings!"

Aphrodite added them, but here's the thing. She only made Thalia like Nico. She thought HE already liked HER.

Recipe for diaster, right there.

"Oh Nicky-poo!"

What?

"Open the door! I'm waiting for you!"

Nico checked out the peephole. What was Thalia _doing_?

"Nickyyyyyyy!"

It hit him like when Thalia was pissed and shot him with lightning. Aphrodite. Damn her. He never thought he'd do this, seeing as Artemis hated boys, but here he went:

"Lady Artemis, I pray to you now. We have a problem involving Aphrodite and your lieutenant."

Her repsponse was immediate.

She appeared in my room.

"Lady! There's been, a, ah, misunderstanding between me, your brother, and Lady Aphrodite, and somehow that came out to have Aphrodite use a powerful love potion."

Giggles came from outside.

"Nicooooooo!"

"Lady, save me."

She walked out. With a wave of her hand, Thalia's eyes cleared. She fell to the ground.

"Attend to her." Artemis's voice was commanding.

I walked to Thalia's side and checked her head for bumps. She opened her eyes.

"Why do I keep waking up with no memories of the past and boys crouching over me?"

"I dunno, 'cause you tend to knock yourself out a lot? Anyway, Aphrodite kind of, well, did something to you and you went crazy. I called your lady, explained it, and now there's gonna be a showdown between the two, I'm pretty sure."

"Oh dear gods."


	3. Chapter 3

Aphrodite and Artemis. Facing each other, it was the signal for all gods to leave the throne room if they wanted to survive.

"You affected my lietenant."

"Everyone needs love!"

"She pledged."

"Pledge to abandon me? No one would do it willingly."

"They would. They're loyal. Your daughters wouldn't, but there are others."

"My daughters are smart. They know."

"Your daughters aren't necessary. I have my followers, acan't you accept your own? Must you steal?" Artemis was yelling by the last sentence. "It's so hard to get my own! You manage to get in the heads of young girls, making it hard to recruit them. I want to keep the few I get."

"Even if the few you get want love?"

"The few that want love can be released, but I want my lieutenant to stay."

"Your lietnant is in love."

"It was a misunderstanding! Since when have you trusted Apollo? He speas without thinking, does without thinking, and makes messes!"

"Apollo knows to follow his heart."

"Apollo knows to follow his idiocy!"

"I will not give up on love."

"My lieutenant is unhappy!"

"Nonsense. Love is wonderful, she can't be."

"I cleared her mind, and she is very unhappy. As well as the poor boy you made victim!"

"You mean, he _doesn't _like her? But Apollo said-"

"Apollo is a dunce."

(OOOOOOOHHHHH would you look at that it deleted my linebreaker so I made a new one)

"You know Thalia, I think I've learned something."

"What is it Death Breath?"

"Never let Apollo see you when you're waiting for someone."

"Why were you waiting for me, anyway?"

"I forget now."

"All that trouble and you forget?"

"Yeah."

"Nico, I will murder you."

_Lonely Hearts Club_

_Do you want to be with somebody like me?_


	4. Sequel!

**Hey guys! This is an AN, please don't be mean and report me because I bring good news! That's right LHC lovers, I got so many requests to continue I wrote a sequel. It's called "Vacation" and if you'll be so kind to click my username, you'll be rewarded with more LHC love!**

**Click away, my pretties!**

**Mwah, beauty pageant kisses, smootches, and other ways of saying kisses,**

**Scarlett.**


End file.
